


painted

by wxnuwu



Category: GOT7
Genre: Heed the tags please, M/M, Mental Illness, actually really deep, dealing with sensitive topics, dont read if it makes you uncomfortable, im still terrible at tagging im so sorry, its been a while but thats not a smut lmao, jaebeom is having anger issues, mention of bruises, mentions of domestic abuse, there is some sexual tension tho, this is better than those tags sounds i promise, youngjae & jackson only get mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26462593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wxnuwu/pseuds/wxnuwu
Summary: “you painted me with your fist but your words spread inside me like they’re a gift.”or markbeom having a hard time.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Mark Tuan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18
Collections: GOT7 Alive Collection





	painted

**Author's Note:**

> hi,, i had a hard time chosing a prompt but ended up getting the one i adored most. while collecting ideas the direction of this changed muliple times,, but im happy with the outcome. i hope you enjoy. 
> 
> //tw  
> \- mention of domestic abuse & the aftermath of it,, please dont read if youre uncomfortable

“where are you going?” jaebeom’s eyes found the heavy suitcase stuffed with all kinds of clothes. he was a bit clueless about the current situation which left mark rolling his eyes. 

“i told you i’d leave you if you do it again,” his boyfriend replied, crossing his arm in his chest. he hated it when jaebeom played dumb, mark knew that he must be playing, jaebeom couldn’t be  _ that _ dumb. 

a sigh left the younger boys lips as he stepped closer. “mark, baby, i didn't mean to be like that,” he whispered, trying to reach out and hug the slender figure in front of him.

but mark just pushed his arms away, frowning at the black haired male. “don't— jae, please don't.” 

it was a line the younger was all too familiar with. there were countless times mark’s lips had formed around the words, his hands trying to defend his tiny body, eyes glossy and the tears so terribly close to spilling. 

but mark had never cried, at least jaebeom had never seen him cry. mark was stronger than that, mark was so stubborn and mark would never admit that he was actually hurt. both mentally and physically. 

“okay, fine, i won’t touch you,” jaebeom gave in, taking a few steps back, hands high as if he were defending himself, “just drop the bullshit already. it’s late, baby, let’s just head to bed.” 

maybe it was the term  _ baby _ , maybe that’s how jaebeom had kept on manipulating mark into giving into his lies, into all the empty promises he broke. maybe it was the sweet scent he had that lulled mark back in, maybe it even was the way his skin was always so warm and soft and felt so safe and secure. 

whatever it was, it always had mark crawl back into jaebeom’s embrace no matter how much he knew he shouldn’t. 

“jaebeom, i am _leaving_ you,” mark whispered despite his urgent want to just leave the fucking suitcase at the door and hug the beautiful boy in front of him, “i am _breaking_ _up_ with you. it’s over.” 

it should have happened way earlier. god, mark was so sick of jaebeom’s temper, of his never ending freaking out over little things and the bruises he would still have to cover up days later. 

mark had never hit back, he had always taken it in silence. he hadn’t screamed at jaebeom like his boyfriend always did. jaebeom always was so loud and his patience was limited to a minimum. that’s probably what mark detested the most, the way his muscles ached after flinching hard whenever jaebeom raised his voice. 

the red-head hadn’t even complained about the pain in his cheek or the sore feeling in his wrists or the dark blooming marks in his ribcage at first. it was always okay, he had always been silent, always thinking it would be just a bit longer to endure, just one more time he would have to feel it, and that his boyfriend wouldn’t do it again. as he always promises. 

jaebeom loved mark after all. and mark loved jaebeom just as much. 

he knew that jaebeom didn’t mean to be like that. jaebeom had this terrible temper and he had those pills he always swallowed and without those he would lose his cool, so mark made sure jaebeom took his medicine. 

the older wasn’t mad at jaebeom, he could never be mad at him. he was disappointed to say the least, hurt, a bit tired maybe. 

he always tried to excuse it all. jaebeom was sick, his mental state was only getting worse, his whole situation was so complicated and just unbearable for him to take. his boyfriend did a great job in taking care of jaebeom and jaebeom did the best job in being grateful and carrying mark on his hands — well, except for the few times his self-control slips. 

so mark wasn’t necessarily unhappy with jaebeom, he was actually happy about having the black haired male by his side, about being accepted and loved even though mark wasn’t flawless either. those two were like barbie and ken or romeo and juliet or bonnie and clyde, so perfect but imperfect. 

“you can’t leave, we— it’s late, where are you supposed to go, mark?” jaebeom stated, trying to ignore the fact that mark wasn’t about to just leave the shared apartment but to  _ leave jaebeom _ . forever. 

“i will stay at jackson’s, or with youngjae— i don’t care really, i can stay in a hotel.” 

“baby,” jaebeom mumbled, voice sweet like honeysuckle, skin rough against mark’s elbow. (when had jaebeom managed to get that close again?) 

“give it a few more hours, rest a bit and if you still feel like leaving in the morning i’ll drive you wherever you want to go.” and though mark had promised himself he wouldn't fall for it this time, he did. 

in the end he wasn’t even a tiny bit better than jaebeom, breaking every promise he made towards himself. no wonder he was  _ that _ weak. 

“fine,” mark gave in, hand wrapped around the suitcase loosening a bit, “but seriously, only for the night, you can’t make me stay.” 

it wasn’t the first time for mark to think about leaving jaebeom but it was the first time for him to actually get his suitcase packed. mark was serious about it, he really was, even though he might have been unsure about it at this point. 

no matter how much he wanted to be mad at jaebeom and how he wanted him to be a bad, bad liar (which would make his decision  _ so much _ easier), mark knew he wasn’t. whenever jaebeom spoke it was sincere and honest and it was the mental illness making jaebeom just a bit terrible at times. mark felt sorry, more than he wanted to leave he wanted to apologise for the way his boyfriend looked so hurt and sad and on the verge of crying. 

“i promise, i won’t talk you into staying.” 

but jaebeom hadn’t had to. mark would give in so terribly easy, it didn’t take jaebeom any talking him into it. 

mark was down for whatever jaebeom wanted. it was a curse. 

***

when mark woke up, it smelled like eggs and bacon and the sheets were warm and jaebeom’s shirt felt so cozy around his body. low music was playing from the kitchen, some of jaebeom’s favorite songs, mark recognised the familiar vibe it had. 

the boy sat up straight in the bed, everything aching a bit but he ignored it as far as he could, unwrapping himself from the covers and taking a few steps towards the door which was left a crack open. the hem of his shirt being stuck in the elastics of his boxershorts, hanging halfways down his thighs and halfways over the striped fabric. 

“good morning,” was the first thing mark heard, still rubbing his eyes and trying to get rid of the terrible feeling of tiredness. 

“morning,” he said back, voice cracking and low. 

jaebeom laughed as he usually did, having mark in the morning was his favourite thing, when his features were the softest and most delicate and his hair so messed up and his skin still flushed red and his body bringing back memories of the last night. 

“still tired?” mark only nodded at that. “let’s have some breakfast then, you need your coffee.” 

it wasn’t like mark had forgotten what his intentions were just around twelve hours ago — it was the opposite, he was still questioning everything, their relationship, the way he could or couldn’t trust his boyfriend, the promises, the way he didn’t do any of this on purpose. but also the way their dynamics worked so well and how they’d understand each other without any verbal communication. about how last night was… amazing. 

god, mark had  _ promised _ , mark had sworn himself — not this time — but, oh well, jaebeom had just looked so terribly fine in the low light and his voice was dripping with just the right amount of this sweet and sexy tune. 

“and you need your pills,” mark added, stepping towards the closet with the medication as he did every morning, grabbing the bottle and popping the cap open. 

jaebeom held out his hand. “right, thanks babe.” a soft kiss planted on the olders lips before he hugged him tightly taking a deep breath while pressing his face into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. 

“you smell like sex,” jaebeom whispered and pressed his lips against the milky white skin, “and me.” 

mark couldn't help but groan lowly - jaebeom literally was  _ so _ sexy and confident whenever it was about whatever happened in the bedroom, it was such a turn on. 

“i am so in love with the way you smell,” he continued, his hands and fingers buried in the soft fabric around mark’s waist, “and the way you sound and move and the way you call me by my name.” 

“jaebeom-” was all mark could mumble, his hands against jaebeom’s chest to exert just a bit of pressure.  _ not right now _ , he thought, he didn't want anything to happen.  _ not now and never again.  _

not  _ everything _ was okay after having sex. not  _ every problem  _ would be solved with sex. 

“take your pills, jaebeom.” 

and that’s when the younger male backed off and sat back down in his chair to swallow the pills with a good amount of water. 

it took mark another minute or so to sit down too, staring at jaebeom with so much uncertainty that it made him shudder. 

mark was aware of the dark love bites on his neck and collarbones and mark was aware of how his butt definitely didn’t hurt because jaebeom had been bad towards him, he knew that it was all because he had wanted it too and not because jaebeom had persuaded or manipulated him or anything likely. 

mark hated himself just a tiny bit for being so in love with everything about jaebeom as well. about his long hair and the piercings and his tattoos hidden where only mark could see and his strong arms and his sweet kisses, his taste and smell, not to forget how he knew everything about mark and his penchants — and, of course, how to use them to make mark tremble in pleasure. 

a shudder ran down mark’s spine thinking about jaebeom on top of him and his wrists pinned into the mattress and his boyfriend moving in and out of mark in rhythmic thrusts, ‘mark’ or ‘babe’ slipping from his lips whenever he felt just right and mark’s fingers holding onto his shoulders way too hard and leaving bruises from his nails. 

“by the way, i was thinking we could go on vacation, now that it’s getting warm… thought about busan or we could fly to japan again—” jaebeom started while shoving a bit of the bacon in his mouth. 

mark frowned.  _ you know that i did not forget about last night, right _ , mark wanted to say,  _ and that i am still leaving _ . but what came out was, “sounds good.” 

jaebeom smiled a bit, pointing towards the door. “i’ll be taking the suitcase to the bedroom after breakfast,” he said, “so that we can get it packed for the two of us.” 

_ no _ , mark thought again,  _ i am taking it with me and i’m gonna take my car and stay with any of our friends just until i got a ticket back home.  _ but he just returned jaebeom’s toothy smile and replied, “yes, i didn’t want to leave anyways.” 

mark wasn’t sure if this was a lie or not. 

but nonetheless mark stayed at the dinner table and sipped on the coffee his boyfriend made for him (the way he liked it most) with his hand tangled up in jaebeom’s. 

_ next time _ , mark promised,  _ if he’s doing it again, i’ll leave for sure _ . 

“you know i love you, right mark?” 

their eyes met and mark could see the unbearable worry in jaebeom’s eyes again, the way he feared nothing more than disappointing his loved one. 

and maybe, just maybe, mark already knew that he wouldn’t leave if it happens again. 

“i love you too, jaebeom-ah.” 

because maybe, and really just maybe, this was what relationships were like, with all the good and bad aspects and maybe pain and bruises. it wasn’t like mark was suffering alone because the bruises he wore in his skin were just as bad as the ones jaebeom wore on his soul. 

and for mark those must hurt a lot more. 

so maybe it was okay and maybe, if it was for jaebeom, it could be okay forever.

  
  



End file.
